Welcome to the latest instalment of Nicolas Mejia’s blog. Nico brought down the curtain on his junior career in 2018 and won two titles during his first full year as a professional. He also made his Davis Cup debut for Colombia against Argentina in 2018. He was a Grand Slam Development Fund player grant recipient in 2020 and will be writing regular pieces for the ITF, providing insight into his tennis journey. Follow his progress here.

I have decided to use my latest blog to talk about the most difficult moment of my life, the death of my father, Gustavo.

The reason I am speaking about this is because I would like to pay tribute to my mentor and the man who introduced me to the game of tennis when I was just a kid and whose influence lives on through me and his other children.  

I also think it is important to talk about and discuss horrible incidents like this as it may help other players or individuals, who are going through something similar, to hear the experiences of someone who has been there.

It was 13 April 2017 when it happened. I had been training and had finished practice earlier that morning when I received a telephone call and was told that my dad had suffered a heart attack while playing tennis.

He was rushed to hospital and was conscious at that stage but, unfortunately, he was fully clotted and did not make it. Up until that phone ringing, it had just been a normal day but my whole world was suddenly turned upside down and life would never be the same again.

Losing my father, especially in those circumstances and with it being so abrupt, is the most hurt I have ever experienced, while losing a parent is one of the most painful things I think anyone can ever go through.

It was just so hard. The shock hits you and you really don’t know what to do next. I was just 17 years old at the time and there was so much uncertainty.

I remember the weekend after my dad passed away, I was due to play qualifying for a Challenger event but when I learned what had happened, I obviously didn’t play and I immediately flew from Florida in the US to Colombia to be with my family.

At the time, my brother, my sister and I knew the most important thing was to be there for my mum and to console her as much as we could as, ultimately, she is the one who suffers the most.

My dad always told us kids to look after our mum and that is something we have tried to do. She is over here living in Florida now and I’m pretty sure our dad would be happy with how we’re handling things.

Family has always been so important. In fact, one of the reasons my parents allowed me to move from Cali in Colombia to Miami at the age of 12 was that I was going to be with my sister Gaby and her husband Juan, who became my coach.

People often say that the whole experience and dealing with the fallout must have had an impact, which of course it did, but from a maturity perspective more than anything else. I think what they mean is that my father’s death surely forced me to grow up far quicker than I would have ordinarily.

However, I left home to pursue my tennis ambitions before I was even a teenager, so I was used to sorting things for myself from a really young age. As a result, perhaps I dealt with my dad’s passing differently to how other guys of my age would.

When you lose someone you love, the hardest thing is simply not having them around anymore. My dad was my No. 1 fan and he would be there for me every single day. In terms of tennis, he would enjoy my wins and suffer my losses as much as I did.

But, for the past four years, he has no longer been there to show the support that he so often did. Realising this and trying to come to terms with it, this is where I grew up the most and it will be the same for the rest of my life.

Over time, you learn to deal with the pain and I have to accept that my dad is no longer with us, although I take every single thing that he taught me and put it into practice day in, day out.

I come from a very religious family and I believe a lot in God, and I know that my dad is up there watching over me, while every time I am feeling down or I need him, I think about him and it clarifies things a little bit.

I also know that he is at peace and something which remains in my mind is the last thing he was doing before he died was playing tennis. He was on a tennis court doing what he loved. Also, he left a great legacy.

My brother, my sister, my mum and I are all pursuing our dreams, just the way he would have wanted us to. The most important thing he left us were the values he taught; being a good person, having respect and working hard.

My dad remains my inspiration for what I do every day. In fact, it is more of a personal commitment that I have with myself that I will do everything in my power to reach the top.

I know that he would be so happy and proud watching me go through the process of trying to realise my potential and whatever I achieve in my career, every single win, it is for my dad.

It’s not easy, though. Every time I am on court, it doesn’t really matter whether I’m winning or losing, I always think, ‘I wish he was here’ and ‘I would do anything to be able to talk to him’.

It’s hard knowing that I cannot, but I dream a lot about him while I’m asleep and I think that’s God’s way of telling me that my dad is there and he is looking down on me and the rest of the family.

It still feels surreal to talk about my father and him not be here but, for me, being at the top of my game is the best way for me to remember him and honour his legacy.

It is important for me to dedicate every success that I have to my father and that is what I will do for the rest of my days. I miss you, dad.